Brother for Sale

When we were little, my sister and I used to sing a little song about brothers by our favorite twins. In the song, M-K and A advocated and promoted the sale of their older brother because he's mean and he bugs them, even though he's fairly clean. Mere and I loved this song -- we would play it on our cassette player non-stop.  In fact, it was such a catchy song in our house that my mom started referring to my brother as simply Brotherforsale.

Here the song is, in all of it's 1992 glory:

Regardless of my early attempts to get rid of him, I definitely think I've been enriched by having a male sibling. Here are just a few of the perks of having my brother:

• He taught me that I will never get a clear response on anything if I call/text/try to speak with a boy between 5:30 and 6pm. One acronym: PTI.
• Automatic dance partner for any wedding or social function. Always.
• J. Crew/Patagonia partner-in-crime. Never have to explain away any unnecessary, expensive clothing from either of those businesses. The man understands.
• Jetski chauffeur...or attempted murderer, depending on how fast he goes. Either way, he lets me hold on super tight. Once, I even tore his life jacket and he wasn't too pissed. I appreciated that.
• Has Bad Guy radar. I swear, my brother hated any of my many a-hole boyfriends looong before I did. He just knew. 
• Educated me on male personal hygiene and general upkeep. Good to know.
• Brings good beer to (almost) every occasion. 
• Family notes-comparer. Since we both live close to home, and our parents don't live together, it's important to have another ally in-between. I can't count the times we've relayed necessary information back and forth.
• He's my own person rap music-reviewer. While I don't listen to a ton of rap or hip-hop, he's got a good nose for the quality stuff. Still don't agree with his opinion of Skrillex, though.
• Most importantly, he knows me inside and out, calls me out on my BS, makes me laugh with his stupid jokes, mixes an excellent g&t, gets my weirdness, and is one of my best friends and has been for a long, long time.

Happy 23rd Birthday to my favorite brother in the whole world.