happy birthday to me

Growing up, birthdays were always a big deal in my house -- I think anyone who knows my mother can attest to the amount of time and thought she puts into making people feel special (and I've discussed this before). She would always come to my classroom, bring an obscene amount of balloons, confetti, and/or (but probably and) some sort of decorative banner. This was great, until I dunno, ninth grade? I almost died of embarrassment when I saw her walking into the large cafeteria, holding balloons and maybe a small cake that year. But I've grown out of that embarrassment -- now I just kinda love it. Last year, at work, she brought me a handmade star with a banner that said HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SUPERSTAR.  Yes.

So I've always been a fan of birthdays. I love to lavish love on others, and of course, be lavished on myself. But for some weird reason, this year, earlier this week, I was just not that pumped about my birthday. I don't know why -- maybe it was the weather (colder than I'd prefer and raaaaainy) maybe it was just a funk I was in. Or maybe it was (and I'm already sensing this will be a thing I look back at and cringe, hard, but) that I was leaving the "early twenties" side of this post and heading over the the "late twenties" side?

But this is such a retarded thought. I have been living much more like the "late" side than the "early" for quite a while -- and I'm happy with that. I DO think that for the most part, clubs are boring. I DO feel more confident with myself now than I did in college. And I'm glad that I can support myself through a well paid job in a field related to what I went to school for -- not by asking my parents. Those are all important, good things. 

But last night, as I was picking peonies from the yard, I couldn't help but get excited. And this morning, as I ate breakfast in bed and the cascade of well wishes and happy birthdays and smiley face emoticons started pouring into my inboxes, I was thoroughly reprimanded for being so mopey about my birthday. I am so, so lucky to be surrounded by so much love. Honestly, I have an embarrassing amount of fantastic people in my life. I have absolutely no reason to pout about anything, ever. And so here's my goal for this 26th year: be more appreciative. Because how could I not when there is just so much love.

This is also another birthday of sorts. Last year I posted something about my birthday, which means I've been doing this whole blogging thing for just about a year now. There have certainly been times when my little corner of the internet has been neglected, but to paraphrase Mr. Nelson, you, dear blog, were always on mind. I can't count how many blog posts I mentally wrote lying in bed/driving home/sitting in a boring meeting, only to completely lose it by the time I get a chance to sit down at my computer.

But really, a big thanks for sticking around and hanging out with me. You're a pretty cool bunch. Also -- if you by chance run into RJ today, could you find out where he's hiding my birthday puppy? I know she's hiding somewhere.

(peonies photo from http://www.sweetthingblog.com/)