On starting fires.

Last night I came home to an empty house a little after 8pm, and I was exhausted and headache-y. It had been a busy day, and I had an evening meeting in Watertown, and I was wearing clothing that was slightly annoying, so by 8, I was ready to just come home, put on my sweats, pour myself a glass of red, and drape myself across the couch in time for the VP debates.

But there was a bit of a wrench in the plan: the place was freezing. And there were only two logs and a bunch of newspaper left in our wood bin.

If there was ever a moment where I regretted not being a girl scout, this was it. RJ had shown me the basic steps to use our wood stove maybe a week ago, but I was bored and distracted and basically acting like an indolent teenager. So I had a hazy understanding that I needed to open the flume, and that air was important. But I also knew that there was no kindling -- only the two logs and the newspaper.

So there I was, trying to get a G.D. fire started, and the dogs are running around the house like crazy, I'm still in my work clothes, and it's. Just. Not. Working. I can't get a fire to successfully start. So, frustrated with myself, I switch tactics and just pile on the layers and wait til RJ gets home.

I realize that any information regarding our humble abode (and the previously stated "reason" for this blog, as if any personal blog really needs a reason other than the individual's desire to speak about themselves in some form or another) has been rather lacking lately. Here's my hypothesis as to why:

We've reached a point where a lot of the stuff that needs to be done, like installing new windows, sealing the roof, installing a furnace, and insulating the downstairs that I just have no idea how to do, but RJ does. It's not really a team effort right now -- I am probably the worst helper he's ever had. The other day, I almost fell through the ceiling while I was walking around the attic with him!

But it's this sort of helplessness that's hard for me. It's tough to feel completely incapable of doing something, particularly when that something is, say, heating your own home.